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The Life You Want to Live

Wish somebody could tell me

 

I can't find myself looking into the mirror

I'm looking at her                       it's not me

 

I left broken myself deep inside of my heart

I can't seem to find myself on my own

 

Broken myself hides from brave myself

Trying hard to protect me from the pain

"You can't be happy staying there"

Brave myself whispers to broken myself

 

Staying strong is not all that matters

"You made it here, you make it tomorrow"

 

Leaving today to find something

        something I want to protect

                                                with all that I am

 

Because it's sad living this life

                             trying to only protect myself

 

 

        The reason for you to want to live your life

           Is the life you want to live only your life?

 

She kisses your pain gently

       closes her eyes next to you

 

  "Don't worry you make it tomorrow,"

                                              she whispers.

Cigarette

When Water Evaporates

Smell of cigarette on the street

I can’t smell anything but you

                                          you, who never smoked in front of me

No clue why cigarette reminds me

                                                       of your touch

                                                       of your smell

how I felt being close to you

how I felt being held by you

        I can’t get you out of my head

                         because of this damn cigarette

Too good to let go

Too bad for me to feel you without you

        All the sensation faded after a while

                                                                       like a cigarette

Smell of cigarette got all over my favorite shirts

                                                                       like you

 

 

She wears the old perfume

You kiss her neck

Senses over brain

Kiss without hug

Cigarette after sex

Lust over happiness

Mercy on your dignity

Mercy on her mercy

Mercy on her

Mercy

She closes her eyes in the bright place

The light stays in her eyes at first

Then, she doesn't feel the light in her eyes anymore

 

She goes to the dark place from the bright place

She can't see anything at first

 

Until she gets used to

she gets used to everything

 

The brightest moments to the darkest moments

 

She is now dull to all the pain and sadness

all the love she holds

She no longer questions the pain she holds

 

Just like how water evaporates and disappears

 

Her heart is blinded without the changes

 

She no longer defines the pain as pain

She might become ignorant of her own pain

and believe she is stronger than ever before

 

 

She is gentle because

She does't feel like you do

 

 

This world would be even more cruel place to breathe in

if we weigh the pain and happiness with one kind of scale

Act of Love

You can believe with your brain still doubting

 

                                           compassion

                         forgiveness

       tenderness

 

To believe

         is act of devotion to the love that I hold

         is act of loving someone

 

I don't expect them to believe in return

I don’t feel betrayed

 

              It is always a choice I make

 

I believe them

  because I want to

  because I have desire to prove the love that I hold

 

I believed them

  because I’ve committed to myself

                                         to            love until

 

I know I've tried the best I could

                                         to the love I carry into this world

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