The Life You Want to Live
Wish somebody could tell me
I can't find myself looking into the mirror
I'm looking at her it's not me
I left broken myself deep inside of my heart
I can't seem to find myself on my own
Broken myself hides from brave myself
Trying hard to protect me from the pain
​
"You can't be happy staying there"
Brave myself whispers to broken myself
Staying strong is not all that matters
"You made it here, you make it tomorrow"
Leaving today to find something
something I want to protect
with all that I am
Because it's sad living this life
trying to only protect myself
The reason for you to want to live your life
Is the life you want to live only your life?
​
She kisses your pain gently
closes her eyes next to you
"Don't worry you make it tomorrow,"
she whispers.
​
Cigarette
When Water Evaporates
Smell of cigarette on the street
I can’t smell anything but you
you, who never smoked in front of me
No clue why cigarette reminds me
of your touch
of your smell
how I felt being close to you
how I felt being held by you
I can’t get you out of my head
because of this damn cigarette
Too good to let go
Too bad for me to feel you without you
All the sensation faded after a while
like a cigarette
Smell of cigarette got all over my favorite shirts
like you
She wears the old perfume
You kiss her neck
Senses over brain
Kiss without hug
Cigarette after sex
Lust over happiness
Mercy on your dignity
Mercy on her mercy
Mercy on her
Mercy
She closes her eyes in the bright place
The light stays in her eyes at first
Then, she doesn't feel the light in her eyes anymore
She goes to the dark place from the bright place
She can't see anything at first
Until she gets used to
she gets used to everything
The brightest moments to the darkest moments
She is now dull to all the pain and sadness
all the love she holds
She no longer questions the pain she holds
Just like how water evaporates and disappears
Her heart is blinded without the changes
She no longer defines the pain as pain
She might become ignorant of her own pain
and believe she is stronger than ever before
She is gentle because
She does't feel like you do
This world would be even more cruel place to breathe in
if we weigh the pain and happiness with one kind of scale
Act of Love
You can believe with your brain still doubting
compassion
forgiveness
tenderness
To believe
is act of devotion to the love that I hold
is act of loving someone
I don't expect them to believe in return
I don’t feel betrayed
It is always a choice I make
I believe them
because I want to
because I have desire to prove the love that I hold
I believed them
because I’ve committed to myself
to love until
I know I've tried the best I could
to the love I carry into this world